Pedantic Perspective Watches: Saijaku Muhai no Bahamut ep. 01 and 02

So the new season is started and maybe its crop of bad shows will be better than last season’s ones. Remember how dumb it was that the main character in Rakudai was called The Worst One? Hopefully we can avoid that nonsense this time-

GODDAMNIT JAPAN.

Episode 1

Shinzen: So is this a magical girl school thing?

PumpkinMochi: This is the magic high school harem hijinks show this season.

Kelloggs: Okay, we’re counting on you. Don’t suck. Or suck in the correct way.

ParticularlyPeeved: The black hero!

Kelloggs: Why does the hero gotta be black? Anti-white racism, if you ask me.

PumpkinMochi: Oh my god, what’s wrong with your chest?

Kelloggs: So wait, is this magical high school AND mechas?

Keidence: And magical power armor.

PumpkinMochi: And dragons.

Kelloggs: God this show…

PumpkinMochi: So who looks like best girl so far?

Kelloggs: Okay, based on the OP, I think that one in the white mech looks like the best one, but there were a few that were on screen for just a few seconds so they might be better. I have no idea at this point.

Kelloggs: So yeah, far right. Because fuck sidetails.

PumpkinMochi: Okay, the second blond one.

Kelloggs: No, she’s the first blond one. Sidetail gets second billing because sidetails are shit.

PumpkinMochi: But they showed sidetail first

Kelloggs: Whatever, sidetails are shit. That overrules whatever they wanted to do in terms of who they showed for.

ParticularlyPeeved: Is he gonna fall into a bathroom?

ParticularlyPeeved: Of course he did.

Kelloggs: We’re off to a strong start here. This show is not half-assing things, it had the “spy on the girls bath” and “fall onto her chest” moves in the same scene.

ParticularlyPeeved: I don’t think he was even spying, he just fell right in.

PumpkinMochi: Oh god what.

Shinzen: Ahahaha.

PumpkinMochi: That’s my question.

PumpkinMochi: Oh, he went to jail.

Kelloggs: Do not pass go, do not collect $200.

PumpkinMochi: Sword device… you mean a sword?

Kelloggs: No, we call it a sword device here.

Keidence: It’s probably also a gun and a mech.

PumpkinMochi: Probably a girl too, why not.

Kelloggs: Krulcifer! Yeah!

PumpkinMochi: Tillfarr?

Kelloggs: This show has good names, guys.

Kelloggs: Infodump time!

PumpkinMochi: Of course.

Kelloggs: But we can make an exception here.

Kelloggs: You’re barely a man, to be honest.

Keidence: Objects hanging from his waist?

ParticularlyPeeved: They mean his swords, Keidence.

PumpkinMochi: Oh my god.

Kelloggs: Yes! The worst one! He’s like the Panthers.

Kelloggs: The names in this show. I can’t even-

ParticularlyPeeved: Pronounce them?

Kelloggs: I don’t know, I might be better at pronouncing them than Japanese people.

Kelloggs: He’s the worst best one and also a former prince. And a pervert. This is every light novel. Oh, and he has a sister.

PumpkinMochi: Why weren’t they just executed?

Kelloggs: Who is she telling this to? Who in this room needs to know this?

PumpkinMochi: She’s just reminding him.

Kelloggs: In case he forgot? She’s gonna explain your entire life circumstances to you.

Kelloggs: Nice outfit.

Keidence: It’s for riding the dragons better.

PumpkinMochi: More infodump!

Kelloggs: Seriously, who are you explaining this to?

ParticularlyPeeved: The person next to her.

Kelloggs: The person next to her seems to give zero fucks about what she’s saying.

Kelloggs: Hey look, it’s Infinite Stratos without any of the things that made Infinite Stratos good.

Kelloggs: Wait, there are draws? So he could be 0-0-500?

PumpkinMochi: Maybe that is his record.

PumpkinMochi: Did two of her things just crash into each other?

Kelloggs: Stop hitting yourself!

Shinzen: Oh, it’s the scene I’ve been waiting for.

Shinzen: Goddamnit.

Kelloggs: There it is.

Shinzen: Well with what people were saying, that might be a thing where’s she’s actually touching her crest bullshit thing.

Kelloggs: No, she’s totally schlicking. The crest is just for plausible deniability so that they can show this on kids’ channels.

Shinzen: But it’s not gonna be on kids’ channels.

Kelloggs: It totally is, this is a kids’ show.

Keidence: Wouldn’t they know about it? They were all in the bath.

ParticularlyPeeved: There was a lot of steam, Keidence.

PumpkinMochi: Or maybe she was using magic to hide it.

Keidence: And then she had to use a cloth to hide it when he arrived?

PumpkinMochi: Yes.

ParticularlyPeeved: He landed in the steam, Keidence.

Shinzen: I hate this show.

PumpkinMochi: It would have been better if she was a robot, and instead of a crest, she had a F port.

 

Episode 2

AiLied: Ugh, I hate this beginning. It’s so generic that it hurts even me.

Kelloggs: So why is he wearing a girls’ uniform?

AiLied: No, that’s a guy’s uniform.

AiLied: Because people hold their hands like that when they whisper.

Kelloggs: Oh hello! Hi Fluffy. I’m just gonna call her Fluffy.

AiLied: I don’t really like her that much.

Kelloggs: But she’s so fluffy.

AiLied: She’s so much better.

PumpkinMochi: I don’t know, AiLied. I see two big reasons why pink hair is better.

AiLied: The yellow-haired girl has appropriately sized breasts.

PumpkinMochi: She has a tramp stamp too, so…

AiLied: Yeah, it’s nice. Kinda. They explain it.

Kelloggs: It’s not a tramp stamp. It’s on the front so it’s for consensual sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation.

PumpkinMochi: That’s fucking disgusting.

Kelloggs: The boobs are talking.

PumpkinMochi: I’ll give you a donut, so go away.

AiLied: This is so dumb.

PumpkinMochi: I’ll eat your donut but I still won’t go away.

Kelloggs: I’ll take your donut… and eat it!

PumpkinMochi: Oh, of course.

AiLied: It does feel good.

Kelloggs: Wait wait wait. Bags of sand was dumb, but saying her chest felt like a blanket?

AiLied: See, the way they did this scene makes me hope that instead of showing the door, they’ll show other stuff on the blurays. I’ve trained my eye to spot these things.

PumpkinMochi: Goddamnit, AiLied.

AiLied: Hm, the idea of going to an all-girls school is interesting but they probably wouldn’t all be hot.

Kelloggs: They don’t all need to be hot. I just feel that it would be isolating on some level.

AiLied: It would be very isolating, and nobody would want to talk to you. Or a couple of people would, but you’d feel weird all the time.

Kelloggs: Yeah, it’s not like they portrayed it here where everybody runs over to him. It’s like only a couple of the most outgoing people would talk to you. And I usually don’t get along with the outgoing people.

AiLied: How the fuck did they get up there?

Kelloggs: Yeah, there’s no stairs or anything.

PumpkinMochi: Oh no, it’s Suu!

Kelloggs: I shall play you the song of my people.

PumpkinMochi: Oh my god, these names.

Kelloggs: My name is Badguy McEvilman.

PumpkinMochi: Really?

Kelloggs: What did you expect from Badguy McEvilman?

Kelloggs: He’s gonna use it!

Kelloggs: Yeah, he sure looked like the weakest there. Well, that was a show.

ParticularlyPeeved: Please pick another show for us to watch, PumpkinMochi.