Pedantic Perspective Watches: Monster Musume ep. 07

The monster girls introduced so far have been nice, but they were mere appetizers for the best girl of the series, one that leg men and connoisseurs of bondage can appreciate and one that plebs like Kelloggs can’t handle. In addition, we also get moe pigs and special ops monster girls this episode. But really, it’s all about Rachnera.

Dat smile.

PumpkinMochi: Oh no!

AiLied: Otaku pigs!

Kelloggs: This is what otaku might look like.

AiLied: That’s what I always thought.

AiLied: Whoa, what?

SerendipitouslySane: It’s the monster squad episode, so they’re starting with the ending.

AiLied: This is kinda weird.

Kelloggs: Is it over? Can I go home now?

AiLied: Are you not at home?

Kelloggs: Yes, I’m at home.

AiLied: Oh. Then no, you can’t go home. Hey, you might one of these more, they’re less… uh…

SerendipitouslySane: Pandering?

AiLied: Maybe?

PumpkinMochi: No, they’re pretty pandering.

SerendipitouslySane: Why is the doppelganger girl horizontal?

AiLied: She’s striking a dramatic pose.

Kelloggs: Doppelganger shifting into the form of… something horizontal. I don’t know how doppelgangers work.

AiLied: Look at her hair, it’s like all spirally. Her right foot is floating too.

PumpkinMochi: She’s using her hair to move.

Kelloggs: I don’t trust that. You don’t walk, I don’t trust you.

Kelloggs makes Tougou sad.

PumpkinMochi: Oh, the city does have more cops.

AiLied: It’s time for Monster Die Hard.

Kelloggs: I’m concerned what their demands are gonna be.

Kelloggs: Yep.

SerendipitouslySane: Are they working with SOX?

PumpkinMochi: That’s a huge oversight.

Kelloggs: We’re totally helpless, whatever should we gonna do? This is the same as Psycho Pass. What do you do when the criminals are people who you by law cannot discipline?  Monster Musume, raising deep philosophical questions like Psycho Pass.

PumpkinMochi: Was she always there?

AiLied: That’s an interesting angle.

SerendipitouslySane: Why does he look so much like one of the pigs?

Kelloggs: And she’s dead. Well, that was fun guys. Can I go home now?

Kelloggs: So send in men, then they can’t smell them.

PumpkinMochi: What if they send in so many women, their sense of smell gets overwhelmed?

Kelloggs: So you’re saying the way to stop them is with a harem?

PumpkinMochi: Yeah.

AiLied: That’s how you solve most problems in the world.

Kelloggs: Fuck yo blinds!

Kelloggs: I don’t like this, I want to get off whatever this is.

SerendipitouslySane: Mr. Pig’s Rape Train?

SerendipitouslySane: No fucking sights!

AiLied: She’s just really good at her job.

SerendipitouslySane: (Some other complaint about gun accuracy that I don’t care about enough to transcribe. -PumpkinMochi)

Kelloggs: Those sure were some words you said.

Kelloggs: What do guns smell like?

PumpkinMochi: Gunpowder?

Kelloggs: Yeah, once you fire the gun. But I’m assuming that the bullets travel faster than the speed of smell.

AiLied: Ask Sane to smell his guns and tell you what they smell like.

Kelloggs: I don’t what to sniff his pistol, okay?

AiLied: If she wore glasses, what would it look like?

Kelloggs: It would be an affront to glasses.

SerendipitouslySane: Did he just piss himself?

Kelloggs: #notyourshield

Kelloggs: Why didn’t she do that the first time?

AiLied: Because she was creating an opening for the hostages to get out.

AiLied: Ehh..

Kelloggs: Kore wa zombie desuka?

SerendipitouslySane: Shut the fuck up and get out.

Kelloggs: I was waiting for that one, I’m sorry.

SerendipitouslySane: Pantyshot, drink.

AiLied: Just hanging out with my boobs out.

Kelloggs: Yeah, I don’t like that part, but uh, this Doppel is… intriguing.

PumpkinMochi: Goddamn lolicon.

Kelloggs: It’s not about the loli, it’s about the ability to transform into any character you want.

SerendipitouslySane: Yeah, very useful.

AiLied: That’s his covert way of saying he wants the orcs.

Kelloggs: What? I’m saying that if you find a Doppelganger, your waifu could be real.

Kelloggs: Meanwhile, at the hotbed of monster-on-human violence… Also, that couch is massive.

SerendipitouslySane: It’s needed because there’s some fatties in the room.

Kelloggs: This is true.

AiLied: Butts!

PumpkinMochi: Fuck stealth, just burst in!

Kelloggs: I don’t like the zombie, she’s too loud.

AiLied: She’s the best of the monster squad.

Kelloggs: The giant seems okay.

PumpkinMochi: What about the one-eyed girl?

Kelloggs: No, she creeps me out. She cries too much. I don’t like these characters that cry at the drop of a hat. That’s not cute, that’s just annoying.

Kelloggs: Yeah, this character type is no good.

AiLied: The Doppelganger is always blushing for some reason.

Kelloggs: She can’t help it, that’s her appearance. It’s not like she can modify it in any way.

Kelloggs: Wait, is the spider another illegal immigrant?

SerendipitouslySane: I think all of them are.

PumpkinMochi: No, she had a host family but-

SerendipitouslySane: This is a show sponsored by Donald Trump.

Kelloggs: Umm… umm… umm… I don’t like where this is going.

PumpkinMochi: Time for some MM action.

Kelloggs: What’s the safe word? Banana? Sousaphone? I want to stop.

AiLied: There is no safe word in life.

PumpkinMochi: Um wow.

SerendipitouslySane: Did she just expand?

Kelloggs: That backwards top is also bugging me. Underboob is less good than cleavage, just throwing that out there.

Kelloggs: No! No no no no no!

Kelloggs: This is getting pretty creepy here, you guys.

AiLied: I mean, boobs, face.

AiLied: Whoa!

PumpkinMochi: Butt.

AiLied: I like that.

Kelloggs: I don’t like this, tell it to stop.

PumpkinMochi: Damn cropping censor!

Kelloggs: I don’t like this.

PumpkinMochi: You don’t like boobs?

Kelloggs: Context matters, dude.

AiLied: Ehh…

Kelloggs: Her host family’s dead, aren’t they?

PumpkinMochi: No.

PumpkinMochi: See, her host family are a bunch of dicks.

SerendipitouslySane: But money is great.

Kelloggs: That doesn’t justify her killing them.

PumpkinMochi: But she didn’t.

Kelloggs: No, they’re totally dead. I haven’t seen them alive, so they’re probably dead.

AiLied: See? She’s sick of your shit, Kelloggs.

Kelloggs: Does that mean I can leave?

AiLied: No, she’ll just put you into bondage.

SerendipitouslySane: What?!

PumpkinMochi: Yeahhhhh!

Kelloggs: Okay, real talk. I like legs too, but not this kind.

SerendipitouslySane: Does that mean the mermaid’s gonna lose?

Kelloggs: Yeah, the mermaid and the snake are screwed.

AiLied: I mean, fetishes aren’t the only thing.

Kelloggs: You’re one to talk.

AiLied: Oh, that’s right. He punched the guy last episode.

Kelloggs: But he’s allowed to.

SerendipitouslySane: Yeah, that’s not interspecies assault.

PumpkinMochi: This is proof he’s actually a monster.

SerendipitouslySane: I mean, he survived this much.

Kelloggs: In that case, I’ll pick him as best monster.

ParticularlyPeeved: Really. Really?

PumpkinMochi: Yeahhhh!

Kelloggs: Ugh….

SerendipitouslySane: God, so many eyes!

AiLied: Government employee shoving responsibility onto others.

Kelloggs: I mean, like… Doppel and giantess are now contenders for possible best girl so at least we have contenders, which was not the case for the first six episodes of this shit show.

AiLied: There were like five or six contenders.

Kelloggs: No! None of them were contenders.

SerendipitouslySane: It’s just Doppel. Everyone else sucks.

Kelloggs: The giant seems nice.

SerendipitouslySane: Yeah, but if you have Doppel, you could have giant as well.

Kelloggs: Yeah, but Doppel might not be a nice person. Personality matters here.