This episode of Monster Musume is sponsored by the letters N, T, R, and D.
Kelloggs: Maids! This show is looking up.
PumpkinMochi: Pshh.. human girls.
AiLied: I am not impressed.
Boundless: So standard.
PumpkinMochi: Oh hey, it’s the cop!
Kelloggs: Goddamnit, Suu!
Kelloggs: None of you are dating him, you have no right to- eh, whatever.
PumpkinMochi: What is-
AiLied: Papi’s dying.
Kelloggs: Well, Papi’s a bird that ran into a window so that’s-
AiLied: Oh god, Metal Gear.
Kelloggs: This show has done Metal Gear references before, haven’t they?
Kelloggs: This is an ongoing thing.
Kelloggs: Oh god, exclamation marks.
AiLied: Such a coffee snob.
PumpkinMochi: Oh hello.
Kelloggs: Her glasses are up there! Look at the good stuff!
PumpkinMochi: Uh, she’s hopping.
Kelloggs: See, she has glasses and she covered up her fish parts. Now she’s good.
PumpkinMochi: The cop is just staring at Papi.
Kelloggs: His eyes aren’t bouncing.
PumpkinMochi: Ohhhh… that’s quite alright.
Kelloggs: It’s gonna start to smell fishy in here.
Kelloggs: Smith is totally fucking with them.
Kelloggs: Wait what?
Shinzen: It’s because she’s sweating.
PumpkinMochi: Oh no.
AiLied: So is Suu why she can walk?
PumpkinMochi: Yeah, Suu is her outfit right now. That’s why the hat has green eyes.
Kelloggs: What is this.
Kelloggs: What just happened?
AiLied: What happens every week.
Kelloggs: What the fuck…
Kelloggs: Panties? What? Why? Just throw the camera down there, who the fuck cares.
AiLied: I didn’t even notice.
Shinzen: Yeah same.
Kelloggs: God, where’s your panty-sense dude? You all are small time.
Kelloggs: She has boobs, that can’t be Papi.
AiLied: I like these Suu-modified characters.
Kelloggs: You just like them because they have bigger boobs.
AiLied: I mean, she looks better with boobs and arms.
PumpkinMochi: Woah, you’re getting close to Kelloggs’ racism level there.
Kelloggs: I’m gonna have to be even more racist against monsters to prove my cred.
PumpkinMochi: Oh god.
Kelloggs: It’s like when you drop your phone in the toilet, only the toilet’s Suu.
AiLied: WOW. WOOOOW.
PumpkinMochi: What are you-
Kelloggs: Call her! Call her!
Shinzen: Oh my god, are they gonna call her?
AiLied: Is she groping herself?
PumpkinMochi: Suu is her arms, so Suu is groping her.
AiLied: I see.
Kelloggs: I’m not okay with this. This is not okay!
Kelloggs: No, no, don’t!
Shinzen: Ahahaha! Of course. Goddamnit.
Kelloggs: This is basically porn, you guys.
PumpkinMochi: What’s going on over there? Eh, I’m sure it’s nothing.
Kelloggs: While a bunch of fucking perverts look on, fuck this show.
PumpkinMochi: I bet you’d be in that crowd, Kelloggs.
AiLied: With a camera.
Kelloggs: I would respect someone’s need to-
AiLied: -masturbate in public?
Kelloggs: -take care of a ringing cell phone in public.
PumpkinMochi: Oh hello.
Kelloggs: Okay okay, looking up here, looking up. Twintails and glasses, always a good look.
AiLied: I wonder how good of a disguise glasses actually are.
PumpkinMochi: It works for Superman.
PumpkinMochi: Is that the cop?
AiLied: Did that cop just tweet-
Kelloggs: He’s like “ALL POINTS BULLETIN, ICE CREAM TRUCK WITH BIG BOOBED GIRLS.” I’m assuming there’s a website where people relay information about local, large-breasted women.
AiLied: That sounds pretty cool.
Shinzen: Oh nooo.
Kelloggs: Stop enabling their perversion!
Kelloggs: There will be nipples in the blurays.
AiLied: It’s the Metal Gear box!
Kelloggs: It’s my Snake in a box.
AiLied: It’s Suu in a box.
Kelloggs: No, Suu is the box.
Kelloggs: Why didn’t they just call her Snake?!
PumpkinMochi: I know!
AiLied: Why is she dressed like that?
Kelloggs: Because it’s a Metal Gear thing, don’t worry about it.
Kelloggs: Wait, they’re at a love hotel now?
AiLied: Wow, that’s pretty useful.
Kelloggs: She’s got like the Dark Knight listening thing going on. Except she can plant it wherever she wants and just listen in. And she chooses a love hotel because she’s a goddamn pervert.
Kelloggs: That’s my Miia, always believing in the goodness of Darling.
Kelloggs: Y’all been duped.
PumpkinMochi: Oh, they are doing the letter arc.
Kelloggs: I don’t want this D.
Kelloggs: You’ve never been on a date.
PumpkinMochi: Oh, that isn’t really a date.
Kelloggs: No, it’s just a NTR exhibition.
AiLied: Why are those heads there?
Kelloggs: It’s Easter Island, don’t worry about it.
Kelloggs: So I’m pretty sure that Mero is the one girl on Ashley Madison. It’s 30 million guys and Mero, and that’s the website.
AiLied: I’m undercover!
Boundless: See, Kelloggs. This episode has Mero doing something.
Kelloggs: It’s all because I demanded it last week. They were like, “You’re right, Mero should get more screentime. So that you can complain about NTR bullshit some more.”
PumpkinMochi: Centorea? Oh, sea horse. I get it.
Kelloggs: Sea spiders?
AiLied: She’s like a crab, because she’s got-
Kelloggs: She’s got crabs?
Kelloggs: Hey, AiLied’s the one that brought it up.
Kelloggs: Wow, he’s enjoying the date so much he got eyes.
Kelloggs: They’re just jousting.
Shinzen: Maybe it’s cannibalism.
PumpkinMochi: Maybe they’re gay fish.
Kelloggs: Nothing’s gonna happen here.
PumpkinMochi: Cockblocking coming in 3, 2, 1…
Kelloggs: Goddamn NTR fujoshi bullshit.
AiLied: Noooo… they got cockblocked by the yaoi fish.
PumpkinMochi: The gay fish.
Kelloggs: You knew that was coming, you son of a bitch.
PumpkinMochi: I actually forgot.
Kelloggs: Yeah, sure you did.
Kelloggs: Isn’t that the thing from Shimoneta? I bet she wants his sea snake if you know what I mean.
Kelloggs: I hate it when people ruin moments with fish trivia.
AiLied: It happens to over 5 Americans every year.
Shinzen: Wait, wasn’t the point that they wanted to stand out and catch the culprit?
Kelloggs: This show doesn’t pride itself on its internal consistency, don’t worry about it.
Kelloggs: She’s like a dolphin. Would you fuck a dolphin?
Shinzen: But she has boobs.
Kelloggs: Would you fuck a dolphin with boobs?
AiLied: She doesn’t look anything like a dolphin. Like, I could say that about anything. Would you fuck an X if it looked like a person?
Kelloggs: Well, she kind of looks like a person but she still has that fish tail.
AiLied: Yeah. But… I don’t know.
Kelloggs: Missing the most important part!
Shinzen: A male monster? Oh yeah, there were those pigs also.
Kelloggs: No, this is clearly like the tough older girl. I don’t know why you’re even entertaining the idea that this monster is male.
Shinzen: But there were the ogres earlier.
Kelloggs: Yeah, but they didn’t look like this.
AiLied: Wait, why is Smith’s face on the coffee?
PumpkinMochi: That’s Smith-approved coffee.
Kelloggs: It’s like Key coffee in Angel Beats.
Kelloggs: It’s not a dude! Stop it. Also, why do you have a dolphin?
Kelloggs: This is the worst kept secret since Mister X from Who is Imouto.
AiLied: This is the bad kind of NTR.
Kelloggs: This isn’t even NTR!
AiLied: It feels like it.
Kelloggs: How is this NTR?
AiLied: Because he’s downplaying him and kind of kidnapped her.
Kelloggs: Eh, whatever.
PumpkinMochi: Hahaha, goddamnit.
Kelloggs: Yeah, he’s garbage generic protag. Like, whatever.
AiLied: How is this not NTR?
PumpkinMochi: It’s getting pretty NTRy.
Kelloggs: See, if someone were stealing Darling from Miia, then that would be NTR. But Darling actually has no interest in her at all.
AiLied: But he does.
Kelloggs: He doesn’t give a fuck. If Miia wanted to, he’d let her go with someone else. If he wanted to, Miia would be like, “No, fuck that.” That’s not NTR works.
Shinzen: Oh, he’s the D.
Kelloggs: She doesn’t want the D.
Kelloggs: Okay, now it’s getting kind of bad. I’m not okay with this anymore. But it’s because of the rapeyness, not because of the NTR, let’s be clear.
AiLied: It’s more the NTRyness that bothers me.
Kelloggs: Actually, the D was Darling. The letters were coming from inside the house!
PumpkinMochi: How is he going so fast?
Shinzen: How did he even know they were there?
Kelloggs: What is powering that thing?
AiLied: It’s a swan boat.
Kelloggs: And they all drowned. The End.
Kelloggs: See, he cares about her well-being, that’s what’s going on here.
AiLied: No, he just doesn’t want to- Wait, plot.
Shinzen: Oh my god.
Kelloggs: See, like what a fucking surprise! Thank all of you people in the show for being fucking blind.
Shinzen: I was hoping they wouldn’t do that.
Shinzen: Oh, she can fly. I don’t think those wings are too small to support her.
PumpkinMochi: In the manga, she couldn’t fly for that reason.
AiLied: See! He’s like-
Kelloggs: It’s just a friendship gift.
AiLied: No, she’s clearly best girl.
Kelloggs: No, I’m pretty sure that’s the giant.
Kelloggs: See? Giant is best girl.
Kelloggs: Wait, she didn’t? Then who was D?
AiLied: It was me, Dio!
Kelloggs: I hate you so much!
AiLied: You thought it was the dragon, but it was really me! D… io!
Shinzen: What’s wrong with Dio liking monster girls?
Kelloggs: He probably would, he’s a vampire.
PumpkinMochi: Oh preview time.
PumpkinMochi: Oh god.
PumpkinMochi: Oh hey, it’s the devil girl next time.
Kelloggs: Woah woah woah, that looks tan. You have my attention. Which is good, because this wasn’t a very good episode. I just think in general, in harem shows like this, the go-on-a-date-while-the-rest-of-the-harem-spies-on-you gag is never really a good one.
AiLied: What don’t you like about that?
Kelloggs: I just find it leads to a lot of poor utilization of the girls where they’re just all purely obsessed with him and it’s all centered about them fighting over him, and I don’t think that’s a good dynamic. Also, like it this episode, it leads to them getting in compromising situations against their will, which is not something I like to see.