In this week’s episode of Testament, we draw comparisons to both Fifty Shades of Grey and The Lord of the Rings, as well as briefly discussing the level of decensoring we can expect from the Blurays.
ParticularlyPeeved: Oh yeah, that’s what was happening.
Kelloggs: Well, we’re off to a good start.
Kelloggs: Yes, why are you dressed with that laser shooting out of your ass. Seems like a very awkward outfit.
PumpkinMochi: She has the camera set up already. Goddamnit.
Kelloggs: I mean, it literally looks like they’re about to shoot a porno.
CriticalMiss: Then why doesn’t he just not look at her?
Kelloggs: He’s so scared of boobs that he’s like, “I’ll look at you to keep you from stripping.” That seems like a reasonable plan.
CriticalMiss: Can someone remind me why they’re doing this again?
Kelloggs: Because they need to form another master-servant pact so she can be her servant because all girls need to serve men.
Kelloggs: My tastes are very singular. Now it’s time to sign a contract, no fisting though.
PumpkinMochi: Oh wow.
Kelloggs: See I told you it would be that kind of show. This is basically the same as 50 Shades is what I’m saying.
Kelloggs: Like, this isn’t even a show anymore.
CriticalMiss: That’s pretty cute.
PumpkinMochi: Hahaha, oh my god.
ParticularlyPeeved: This will still be censored in the bluray since it’s moving.
Kelloggs: They could have just layered that over as an affer-effect and it would be easy to remove.
ParticularlyPeeved: So they could uncensor everything?
PumpkinMochi: I hope they do.
Kelloggs: They better, otherwise this show is bullshit. The people who made this need to watch To-Love-ru to learn a thing or two about subtlety and creativity in fanservice. This is MS-Paint Porn the Anime.
PumpkinMochi: No, I’ve seen that. That’s something else.
Kelloggs: There’s a thing like that?
PumpkinMochi: I forgot the exact title, but it was one of the lowest rated things ever on aniDB.
Kelloggs: Fuck this show. I can’t enjoy it!
ParticularlyPeeved: Why don’t you go in there and join them as well?
PumpkinMochi: Give it an episode or two.
Kelloggs: Her X-ray vision needs work, it’s getting some interference there.
PumpkinMochi: Oh, volleyball time.
ParticularlyPeeved: Oh, I thought you said loli-ball there.
Kelloggs: This isn’t Ryo-Ku-Bu.
Kelloggs: My face is up here!
PumpkinMochi: I like how the camera slowed down there.
Kelloggs: I don’t know why they want to ignore her face. It has glasses, that’s just better.
ParticularlyPeeved: Yeah, he is, he’s going on with both of them. What’s your problem?
Kelloggs: She and her friends have a bet on this.
CriticalMiss: That’s actually true though.
Kelloggs: Yoooo. Like what? Where did this come from?
PumpkinMochi: I like how Mio just ran away, like fuck this NTR shit.
Kelloggs: Well yeah, that makes it hotter.
Kelloggs: Let’s go, clothing destruction!
PumpkinMochi: If it will be like previous episodes, clothes can repair themselves.
Kelloggs: Mio experiences her first NTR bullshit. “It hurts so much.” That’s how NTR bullshit works, Mio. Just get used to it.
ParticularlyPeeved: Where did she come from? I guess she just took all of them away.
Kelloggs: I think Yuki just won the harem.
Kelloggs: What the fuck, she just saw her father explode and her mother lit on fire. That’s the shittest day ever. How do you even begin to live any semblance of a normal life after that.
ParticularlyPeeved: You just need to make a master-servant pact with a random hero dude.
PumpkinMochi: Oh is this gonna be Fifty Shades now? Again?
CriticalMiss: Does she have scissors on her head?
PumpkinMochi: Wait, is she wearing a bunny outfit? For some reason?
CriticalMiss: Oh, is he gonna grab her boobs?
ParticularlyPeeved: CriticalMiss knows everything.
Kelloggs: Are you serious?
ParticularlyPeeved: I thought Maria was a traitor anyway.
Boundless: No, she’s playing the double agent.
ParticularlyPeeved: It is the Palantir! He’s working for Sauron.
Kelloggs: She’s basically just standing there watching him make a phone call.
ParticularlyPeeved: What a fool of a Took. Also, why is Mio just standing there and not questioning Maria about why she betrayed her?
PumpkinMochi: Oh god, what if Basara saves them all and Maria’s mom joins the harem too.
ParticularlyPeeved: Damn it, no.
Kelloggs: Here, I present you with a Basara. Enjoy it. It’s yours.
CriticalMiss: She wanted a master like him anyway.
Kelloggs: This is basically as good as the ending of The Two Towers. The book, of course, since the movie ended at a different point. Which of you haven’t read the book?
Boundless: I haven’t, but I’ve seen all the movies.
Kelloggs: Okay, the book ended with Frodo being stung by Shelob and carried away by the orcs, which happened in the third movie. When I was watching the movie for The Two Towers, I was thinking if they end it at the same point at the book that would be a really shitty place to end a movie. It would have been a cruel cliffhanger for a year, but they chose to end it on a high point. But this show, it doesn’t pull any punches and isn’t afraid of using cruel cliffhangers.
ParticularlyPeeved: I’m very conflicted and insulted that you compared this to Lord of the Rings.
Kelloggs: Mission accomplished!